The One Where Erik's a Cyborg
by JacAvoy85
Summary: Clearly Charles has gone insane for he has bought himself a Cyborg that looks suspiciously a lot like Erik. Or at least that's what the children all think. Future Fic, Crossover, Humor, Fluff.


**A/N: So yeah, I've been itching to do an 'Erik is a cyborg' fic ever since I saw Prometheus, so…that explains this…**

Charles looked up from the instruction manual (Jesus, he didn't even know Cyborg's CAME with instructions. This is the future, what the hell? Instructions should be obsolete by now. The information should just be beamed into your head the second you open the box, fuck. Some future this is) and eyed the Robot man before him. "Now how do I turn you on?" He muttered to himself.

"Try doing a strip tease."

Charles shot Sean a very disapproving look. Sean ducked behind his box of Lucky Charms. Weren't very lucky though—he could still FEEL the professor's eyes boring a hole into him, Christ.

Rolling her eyes promptly, Raven walked over to the creepy manbot. "Behind his ear Charles," she said as she pushed the tiny button behind the Cyborg's ear. She didn't care what anyone said—that thing was fucking creepy. People should not own Robots—did no one remember the movie: I-Robot?

Okay, so that movie did come out like 2000 years ago, but still—Raven's seen it—she likes watching old movies from the past. She really believes she was born in the wrong time era.

The Cyborg came to life with a jerk; his head flew up and his eyes opened. Charles gasped slightly when he saw the Robot's beautiful silver/blue eyes. "Amazing," he muttered, taking in just how realistic the Cyborg was.

"What is your name Master?" The Cybrog asked, looking directly down (that's right—the Cyborg was tall—Charles always had a kink for tall men) at the brunet.

Now, if there was one thing Charles did learn from the instruction manual, is that when the Cyborg asked you your name it was VERY important to tell him the correct one—for that is what he will call you from now on—no matter how many times you tell him to call you something else. So Charles knew he only had one shot at getting his name correct. He opened his mouth, about to tell it his name-

"Professor Floppy Dick," Sean chimed in happily.

God Damn it!

…

One REBOOTED, and an hour and a half later (because that's how long it takes to reboot _thank you very fucking much Sean_) Charles stood in front of his Cyborg again. He shot Sean a warning/death look before pressing the button behind the Robot's ear… AGAIN.

Coming to life once more—the Cyborg looked back down to his Master and asked: "What is your name Master?" Darwin slapped his hand over Sean's mouth and Charles was able to respond: "Charles Xavier," WITHOUT any fucking interruptions this time. Damn children, Charles really didn't know why he was doing this in the living room anyway—he should have just taking his Bot to his room so he could have done this in privacy for fucks sake.

The Cyborg nodded down at his new Master. "Charles Xavier," he repeated, studying the man—probably converting everything about him to memory— even his tacky sweater vest. "My name is David."

"Right, well I'm just gonna call you Erik," Charles said as he turned to place the instruction manual down. Really—one of these days they'll all be obsolete—straight into your brain.

The Cyborg frowned (yes, Cyborg's are capable of understanding human emotions). "But my name is David."

Turning back to look at his new Robot, Charles simply smiled and said: "Right, but I'm going to call you Erik, is that okay?"

The Cyborg nodded, processing this new information. "My name is Erik," he confirmed. Charles smiled.

Raven cleared her throat. God this was getting awkward. She made her way closer to her brother. "Charles," she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder, "don't you think it's a bit much to call him that?" Charles turned to face his sister, question in his eyes. "It's been over a year Charles—I think you've grieved enough—it's time to let Erik go." Jesus, this can't be healthy.

"It does kinda look like Erik though," Darwin pointed out tactfully. He knew to be respectful when speaking of the late great Erik Lehnsherr—especially when around Charles for fucks sake. Although he did agree with Raven—it was probably time for Charles to move on with his life—this couldn't be healthy.

Getting a Robot that looked near identical to his past-lover was one thing, but to name it after said past-lover—that's just too much. Charles needed to realize the fact that no matter what—Erik Lehnsherr was gone—and never coming back. Charles was still stuck in the grieving stage—he just couldn't seem to move on to 'acceptance'.

"Except for the blond hair," Alex added from the couch, playing his Playstation 246.

"That's because that's how I had him designed," Charles mumbled (mainly to himself) while he stared up at his Cyborg with a smile.

"Oh god," Raven made a face, "you sent the manufacture a picture of Erik—didn't you?" Jesus, just because you COULD have them 'specially' designed, didn't mean that you HAD to. What the fuck was wrong with Charles?

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Charles said quickly as he turned away to retrieve his tea.

"Really," Alex said, finally putting down his Playstation controller, "why is he blond? Why didn't you just make him look exactly like Erik?" Because clearly the professor had gone insane.

"I always thought Erik would look good as a blond," Charles muttered before he took a sip of his tea, still eyeing the Cyborg fondly. He set his cup down and turned to Alex. "And just so you know, he is NOT an Erik replacement," he glanced around the room, "So you ALL can get that out of your heads."

"Oh, he is SO an Erik replacement," Raven said matter-factly, hand on her hip.

"Who's an Erik replacement?" Hank asked as he made his way into the room. "And I thought we weren't allowed to mention… oh dear God." He stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he spotted the Cyborg. "Jesus Christ Charles—you didn't?" He mumbled.

Charles just looked sheepish and the Cyborg looked confused—not that he was confused, he just knew that he should be. "Now Hank," the professor said, "I'd like you to meet my new Cyborg—Erik."

"I want nothing to do with this," Hank proclaimed as he turned and left. Well.

"Have I done something wrong?" Davi…er.._Erik_ asked Charles. These human's were such strange creatures.

"No, of course not Erik," Charles replied sweetly. He placed a hand on the Cyborg's chest (oh firm), "Everyone here is just slightly insane is all."

"Says the man who bought a Cyborg that looks just like his dead boyfriend," Raven said, "and is calling him Erik," she added.

"Raven!" Charles cried out.

"Way to be tactful," Darwin muttered as he shook his head in disbelief.

"That is it," Charles proclaimed, "We are going back to the 'No talking about Erik', rule." He glanced around the room, "Is that understood?"

"Cybrog Erik or dead Erik?" Sean (who was now confirmed to be high—thank god they finally legalized weed back in 2020) asked. Darwin face palmed and Alex threw his remote controller at the redhead. Luckily for Sean though, everything in the future was made from soft and squishy foam-like shit, so the Playstation controller just bounced off his head. Ever since that blasted Wii came out way back in 2006 with those 'dangerous' controllers that broke many a people's TV's and windows and gave that one kid a concussion, all video game consoles had been slowly getting safer and safer. A little TOO safe if you ask Alex—he _wanted_ it to hurt Sean damn it.

"Dead Erik?" The Cyborg asked. What the hell goes on around this place?

"Come on Erik," Charles said, taking his Robot by the hand and leading him away from the jerks that he calls his family, "Let's go somewhere more private." He'll let Erik interact more with the children later—when they're done being jerk-faced-jerks.

Just as he was about to leave with Erik, Angel came through the doorway. She froze.

"What the fuck is that? An Erik-Bot?" She eyed the Cyborg up and down, "Jesus Charles—you really have lost your mind," she muttered. Hank was right—the professor was really off his rocker.

"Thank you for that Angel," Charles said dryly, "Now if you'll excuse us, we'd like to go somewhere _less judging_." He led Erik around the petit dark haired women and they both left the living room of ignorance.

"We can still judge you from your room!" Raven hollered after him. She got nothing in return.

"Okay seriously," Darwin said once he was sure the professor was out of earshot, "Charles is really taking the loss of Erik too far. It's been over a year—he shouldn't still be acting like this. It's okay for him to still miss Erik, but the Cyborg look-a-like is too much."

"I have to agree, the Erik-Bot is a bit much," Angel added, taking a seat next to Alex on the couch. "How long is he going to grieve for?" Alex practically groaned—this earned him a smack from Raven. "Shut up Alex—you know what Erik meant to Charles—show some damn respect," she snapped at him.

"Hey, I miss Erik too," Alex said, "but I'm not going to mourn over him forever—I've accepted that he's gone—Charles needs to do the same. It will make the grieving process a lot easier for him."

Darwin nodded. "And he will, in time," he said softly as he looked down at the blond. He looked back up at the others, "but seriously—this Erik-Bot is creepy as hell—we need to do something about it."

"Like, get rid of it?" Angel questioned.

"Dude," Sean said from like his fifth bowl of cereal—what the fuck—it was almost noon—how was he still eating breakfast? "You know the professor would be pissed if anything happened to his replacement Erik—he'd probably finally snap and go on a killing spree. That man's way too passive aggressive for his own good. He's like a ticking time bomb in tweed-"

"Before Sean says anything else stupid," Darwin cut in, "I'd just like to vote with the whole: I think we should talk Charles into getting rid of the Erik-Bot. He needs to see a therapist—this shit is not healthy."

Thinking about this for a moment, Raven looked up. "There's only one way Charles would give up the Erik-Bot," she said slowly.

Alex looked at her, "You mean…"

"Yes," she said—already knowing everyone knew who she was talking about.

"As Hank quoted earlier," Darwin said, putting his hands up, "I want nothing to do with this." Now.

"Come on Darwin," Raven said, "This was your idea."

"No, my idea was to get Charles some therapy—not to get _him_ involved—I want nothing to do with _that_." He took a step back, as if he were already trying to distance himself from Raven's horrible and possibly suicidal idea.

"I'm in," Angel shrugged. She wasn't afraid—and especially not of _him_. "As long as it gets the Erik-Bot outta here. I saw I-Robot with Raven—that shit was terrifying." And especially so now in the future when there were so many Robot's around.

"That movie came out like 2000 years ago, how was it scary?" Alex asked, "Besides, the graphics were shit back then," he added, because apparently if the characters can't come out of the screen and threaten you with bodily harm or slap you around a bit, it's just not a movie now a days.

"Shut up Alex," Raven said. She looked around the room. "So, are we doing this?"

…

"So, this is where you'll be staying," Charles said as he saw Erik into his room, "with me of course." He smiled at his Cyborg.

"Those people downstairs," Erik said as he looked around the large room, converting everything to memory, "they spoke of another Erik—did you have another Cyborg like me?" He turned and faced his owner.

"You could say Erik was like a damn Robot sometimes," Charles grumbled to himself bitterly at the memory of his past-lovers inability to show any emotion. He shook his head and focused back up to his Cyborg. "No darling, he was a very real human," he smiled softly, "but he's gone now—so you need not to worry about him."

"Dead?"

"Indeed." Charles turned and walked over to his bed where he sat down. "But if you don't mind—I don't like to talk about him all that much—too many painful memories," he patted the spot next to him, "Come here, come sit next to me please." The Cyborg compiled, filing away in his memory system to never bring up Human Erik again around Charles Xavier unless provoked. He sat down next to the human.

"I'm to understand that you have all the functions as us humans do?" Charles murmured quietly as he ran a hand down Erik's cheek. The Robot nodded. "I can and will perform any and all tasks humans can. Is there something specific you'd like me to do for you?" Well since he asked…

"Indeed there is," Charles replied. He cupped Erik's face and tipped his head to meet eyes. "But first tell me," he licked his lips, "do you find me attractive?" Because only Charles Xavier would need consent from a Cybrog that it was okay to have sex with it.

Erik nodded. "Very."

"You're not just saying that because I'm your owner?"

The Cyborg shook his head, "No, I really do find myself attracted to you," he answered truthfully. Of course he did—all David8's were programmed to have immediate attraction to their owner's, and no one else.

They were after all—Sex-Bots as well.

"Splendid," Charles said, his eyes shifted down to Erik's mouth, then back up to his eyes. "But I don't want you to feel as if I'm taking advantage of the situation—I would prefer it if you didn't refer to me as your 'master' or 'owner'—I want you to feel as if we are equals."

"But we are not equals." Jesus, even Robot Erik liked to disagree.

No, Charles thought to himself, he is not 'Robot Erik'—you cannot think of him like that. He closed his eyes for a moment before looking back up at the blond. "I know that Erik," he said with a Charles-smile, "but I still want you to know that I think of us as equals—we are in this partnership together. I will not command you to do anything unreasonable, or _at all_ for that matter…except for in the bedroom…is that okay?"

The Cyborg nodded again. "So if you will not be commanding me to do tasks for you except for in the bedroom, what will my primary functions around the house be?" He was a Robot after all—he needed to keep busy.

Charles shrugged. He really didn't think that far ahead—he just saw the David8 on the Internet and realized he needed to have him—he already resembled Erik, so all it took was a little bit of fine tuning and he was perfect. Who was Charles to turn down a Sex-Bot that looked like Erik? "I don't know—get to know the others—hang out with…" Charles had a sudden image of a flaming Sean, a roof and a bungee-cord. He backtracked his statement. "I'll find something for you to do."

"Very well," Erik confirmed. He looked down at the smaller man. He could sense Charles' arousal so his sexual functions kicked in. "I'd like it very much to kiss you now—is that okay Charles?" The brunet chuckled, "Erik," he said with a soft smile, "We're partners now—you don't have to ask my permission to kiss me."

Technically the Cyborg did—it's how he was designed—but since Charles told him it was okay to engage at will, (as long as he sensed the human's arousal) he stored that information in his memory file as well.

"Partners?" The Cyborg then asked. Charles nodded. He ran his hand through the man's blond hair, "Yes Erik, partners—it means we make decisions together. I told you—you are my equal in this—I will not be bossing you around." One day, he may even learn to love him, like he loved (loves) Erik Lehnsherr.

Erik smiled. "I think I like the sounds of that." The brunet smiled as well. "Good," he said softly, moving closer to the Cyborg on his bed, "then you may kiss me now."

Surging forward, Erik cupped Charles' face as he brought the smaller man into a kiss. It was soft at first, turning more passionate as time went on, and then finally turning slightly X-rated with tongues and moaning and groping came into play.

"Oh my," Charles said with a breath after he pulled back. He looked down to his Sex-Bot's lap and then back up. "They sure didn't skimp in that 'function'," he said as he felt Erik's cock through his pants, "did they?"

"I thought you had me custom made," Erik murmured with a smile. Charles blushed, "Oh, I did say that, didn't I?" Damn Robot's and their super hearing. He glanced back up at the blond. "Well I wasn't expecting it to be 'exactly' like I ordered." Not that he was disappointed or anything. He knew having Erik's penis measurements would come in handy one day. Now if only Erik were still around to tell him that…

"Would you prefer if I was sent back?" The Cyborg teased.

"Never," Charles answered quickly. He would never get rid of his Erik-Bot. Not unless…

No, that was impossible.

"You're just how I want you—you're perfect," Charles said, leaning in again and kissing Erik once more. They kissed longer this time, Charles allowing Erik to control the kiss. The taller man gently pushed Charles down onto the bed, straddling him as their mouths moved hotly together. Erik pulled back after a moment, breathing slightly ragged as he looked down at the brunet. "Am I going too fast Charles?"

Too fast?

"You're not going fast enough," Charles said, grabbing the Cyborg by his shirt and bringing him back down until their lips crashed together again. A whole year—he'd gone a whole year without this kind of touch—what the hell was he thinking? He wrapped an arm around Erik's neck, while his other hand stayed tangled up in his shirt, and held the taller man close as they kissed. Erik slipped his tongue in (and—_oh_— how lifelike it felt—wet and everything) sliding it along Charles' smoothly. The smaller man moaned softly into Erik's mouth, holding him even tighter and grinding his erection up and against the Cyborg.

But again, Erik pulled away. Charles was about to get frustrated, but the next sentence out of Erik's mouth made him forget why. "How would you like me to service you?" He asked the brunet. Charles stared for a second, all the blood in his body flowed to his already hard cock. Even though he did tell Erik he wanted an equal partnership, he was still a Sex-Bot after all—it's not like he could switch that function off or anything.

Not that Charles would. Fuck. That was the hottest thing Charles had heard in a long time.

"Fuck me," Charles breathed out, "I want you to fuck me Erik."

The blond nodded. "Of course Charles." He kissed the man again before trailing down his smaller body with his lips. Charles moaned softly as Erik worked his way down and began removing his pants for him. "Christ Erik," the brunet groaned out when Erik grabbed his cock the instant it was freed. "Is this good?" He asked the smaller man as he began stroking. Charles whimpered in reply, looking down and watching as Erik started unbuttoning his Weyland issued grey-blue shirt with his other hand.

Helping, Charles reached down and pushed Erik's button-up off of him once all the buttons were undone. He marveled at the chest before him—it was so toned and fit—absolutely perfect. It instantly made Charles slightly self-conscious about his own body. He stopped going on his morning runs once Erik was no longer around to go with him.

"You're beautiful Charles," Erik said as if he could read the other man's mind—and maybe he could, who knew—he was a very high-tech and futurist Robot after all. He ran his free hand down the brunet's still clothed chest. "I can't wait to see you completely naked."

Flushing even more now, Charles ducked his head and bit his bottom lip. "Really?"

"Really," Erik said, leaning down to kiss Charles again. Once Erik pulled back, he helped Charles undress all the way, and then removed his own pants. They both lay naked together on the bed, kissing each other helplessly until Erik rolled back on top of the smaller man, trapping him underneath his larger body. Their cocks grinded together, drawing out a low moan from both men.

"You can feel-"

"Everything you can feel," Erik finished for him with a smile. He kissed Chares again, gently, and then pulled back. "I can even ejaculate as well." Now Charles was intrigued. He sat up a little in bed, bringing himself closer to the taller man. "Ejaculation? Really? That's amazing." He couldn't wait to tell Hank.

Leave it to Charles to be far more fascinated with the science than the sex part of what was going on.

"But that's not all I can do," Erik said with a proud grin, "Lay down," he instructed the smaller man." He slipped a finger down to Charles' entranced and touched it gently.

"I have lube over by the—_oh_!" Charles' eyes went wide, "You can make your own?"

"And not just from there," Erik said with a smirk.

"Your cock is self-lubricating as well?" Charles was getting more and more excited by the moment. Maybe he should've read the whole blasted instruction manual.

"I am a Sex-Bot, am I not?" What, did this human not read the manual?

Charles _moaned_ as Erik probed two fingers in, twisting and stretching him open. "Oh Erik," he breathed out in passion, "keep doing that… feels so good.." Erik worked his fingers in a steady rhythm, in and out of the smaller man's body until he was sure he was good and ready to be fucked.

Positioning himself, Erik held onto one of Charles' legs as his other hand guided his cock to the brunet's hole. "Are you ready Charles?"

Nodding, Charles swallowed thickly and prepared to be entered by his Sex-Bot. It had been over a year since Charles had let anyone inside of him, and that anyone wasn't just anyone—it was Erik Lehnsherr.

When Robot Erik pushed in, his self-lubricating cock felt amazing—it slipped in effortlessly and with no resistance. Charles groaned out loudly, wrapping his arms instantly around Erik's back and bringing him closer down.

They moved together in harmony, Erik thrusting and Charles meeting those thrusts with his body as he held on even tighter. He bit onto Erik's shoulder gently, keeping a particularly load moan from slipping out and being heard by the others downstairs—although, for a bunch of rowdy teens, they sure were being quiet—suspiciously quiet.

But Charles couldn't find it in him to care about that at the moment when he was being fucked like _this_ by his Erik-Bot. He moaned out again, burying his face into Erik's neck and holding on for dear life as they rode the waves together.

"Would you like me to go faster?" Erik questioned with a rasp, his breathing gone shallow as he pumped into the shorter man below him.

"_God_," Charles moaned out, "_yes please_." Erik sped up to near unhuman speed and drove his cock in and out of Charles repeatedly, causing the smaller man to dig his nails into Erik's back with pressure.

"Er-_ik_," the brunet choked out as he spilled his seed, causing Erik to release his own at the same time. He was designed that way—after all—the purpose of a Sex-Bot is for their owner's enjoyment, not the Robot's. The second the Cyborg comes in contact with seminal fluid (unless specifically told not to) they are programmed to have their own release happen.

"Charles," Erik rasped out as he filled the man with his own genetically engineered semen, which of course contained no DNA.

After a few intense minutes of breathing and cooling down, Charles smiled over at his Sex-Bot. "That was amazing Erik, thank you." Charles couldn't believe he went so long without sex. The Cyborg looked over as well. "I came inside you, was that okay?" He questioned. He wasn't sure if he should have done that or not, it's not like him and Charles had gone over the rules or anything before they started.

It's not like they had time, Charles just sort of drug him off to bed…

"It's fine love," Charles assured him. He leaned up on his side and cupped Erik's face with his hand, "It's just fine," he sealed their lips together again.

…

"What, the fuck." Was the first thing that Erik Lehnsherr said when the door to the Xavier mansion (the place that he _swore_ he would never come back to) was opened and he was greeted by a goddamn Cyborg that looked suspiciously a lot fucking like him.

Sans the blond hair—why did it have blond hair? Who thought that would be a good idea?

"Hello, may I help you?" The Cyborg asked the man at the door.

"What the fuck." Was also the second thing Erik said. He had nowhere to go from there, it was all 'what the fucks' from here on out.

"Who is it darling?" Came Charles' voice as he made his way to the front door. He froze.

"Erik," he gasped.

"Yes Charles?" The Cyborg responded turning and facing the brunet.

"What the actual _fuck_?" Now Erik was starting to get pissed, and he even threw in another word to his sentence.

"Erik," Charles said again breathlessly, "What are you doing here?" He gripped onto the doorframe for something to hold onto. Erik swore on his mother's grave he would never…

"What (not 'who') the hell is that?" Erik asked angrily as he pointed at the Erik-Bot. He knows he was not replaced by a goddamn Robot…with blond fucking hair! What the hell!

"Um.." Now Charles was just nervous, and a bit embarrassed (okay, A LOT embarrassed) he really thought when Erik said he was leaving for good and nothing on Earth would get him back, that he really meant it.

So what the fuck was he doing here?

"Charles, what the fuck is that thing?" Erik asked again, his patience running thin. He eyed the mechanical man. He knew they weren't to be trusted—leave it to Charles to go out and fucking buy one anyway.

Did nobody see I-Robot 1 through 226? Fuck.

Sighing, Charles finally gave in and ran a hand down his face. "Erik, this is my Cyborg—Erik."

Cyborg Erik looked confused (although he wasn't confused, he just understood that he should be). He glanced at Charles. "This is Erik— Erik Lehnsherr? The one who I am not suppose to mention around you?" Human Erik didn't know what the fuck that was supposed to mean, but now he was really mad. Charles nodded. "Yes," he said with a sigh, "This is Erik, my ex-boyfriend and the one who stomped all over my heart, Lehnsherr."

"I thought you said he was dead."

"_What?_" Human Erik, who was quite offended by the fact that he had to be referred to as 'Human Erik', proclaimed loudly and angrily. Also, Charles killed him off? Really?

"Well he was _dead_ to me the instant he walked out of these doors and out of my life _forever_," Charles sneered, throwing Erik's own words back at him.

Narrowing his eyes, Erik shot Charles a look. "So you replaced me with a fucking Robot with blond hair?" He snipped right back at his former lover. Ah, it was just like old times.

"I like the blond hair actually," Charles said fondly, looking at his Erik-Bot with loving eyes. (Erik couldn't help but feel a twang of jealousy—Charles use to look at _him_ like that.) He glanced back at the man on his front porch. "And he wasn't to _replace_ you by the way," he said matter-factly.

"You named him Erik." He said dryly.

"That was by default."

"Charles!" Erik snapped. He eyed his clearly insane former lover, remembering why exactly he had left. Well, that other reasons—but manly their constant bickering over trivial shit.

"Would you like me to remove him from the premises?" Cyborg Erik asked Charles as he placed a hand on the brunet's shoulder.

What…what the _fuck_! Okay, now Erik was _seething_ with anger—he was not going to let some fucking wires and computer chips tell him what to do, let alone _remove him from the premises_. Did this computer, Robot, Cybrog thingy… whatever the fuck it was that the CIA invented to spy on everyone, know just who it was fucking with?

Erik fucking Lehnsherr—that's who!

"Now you listen hear you jumble of wires," Erik said threateningly, "If you lay a hand on me I swear to god I will find the power cord that runs through you and cut it myself." He jabbed a finger into the Cyborg's chest.

Big mistake.

In .2 seconds, Human Erik found himself on the ground and with his arm (same one that he poked onto the Erik-Bot's chest) twisted around his back and being pinned down.

"_Jesus Erik_," Charles proclaimed, referring to his Cyborg (and yes—this pissed Human Erik off quite a bit). "That was very impressive…"

"Charles!" Human Erik cried out, "Get this fucking thing off me!" It was probably stealing information from Erik's brain as he spoke—goddamn CIA device—they should all be destroyed.

"You should never threaten a Cyborg," The Robot said calmly, still holding Erik firm against the ground, "We don't react kindly to it," he twisted Human Erik's arm further, causing the man to curse out loudly, "and if you would have threatened Charles," Cyborg Erik looked back lovingly at the brunet, "I would have killed you already." He released the human with a push and stood back up. "Did I do alright Charles?" The Cyborg asked, looking for praise.

"You did fine," Charles assured him, running his hand down his Cyborg's cheek, (Human Erik grinded his teeth) "But no need to worry about him," he glanced at his ex-lover, "he won't do anything to harm you (Human Erik wanted to debate this strongly) and please, never under any circumstances, ever kill him," Charles looked back down at Real Erik, who was still on the ground, "It would break my heart even more than it's already broken."

The Robot stored all this information. "Yes Charles," he confirmed. He thought for a moment. "But what if he tries to harm you?" Human Erik was about to get up and _show_ this Robot just what HARM was for even suggesting that but Charles was quick to respond with: "Erik would never harm me," he stared down at the man on the ground firmly. Never once did it come to blows when him and Charles fought—no matter how volatile the two men got with each other.

It was about this time that Human Erik did get back up to his feet. He'd seen and heard enough. "I can not believe you replaced me with a fucking Robot," he sneered at his ex-lover. But don't let him fool you—he was hurting.

"I did _not_ replace you with a Robot," Charles said for what felt like the millionth time since he bought the David8 and changed its name to Erik. Christ, what don't people understand about this?

"Yes he did!" came a voice from inside that sounded an awful lot like Raven's. Traitor.

"What ARE you doing here anyway?" Charles asked his ex instead of responding to his sister. He'll deal with her later.

"I was told that you were in a terrible accident," Erik said, now realizing that he may have been punked. Charles' face turned to horror at this news. "What?" He asked equally in horror, "From whom?"

Erik's face went dry. "Raven." He should've known…

Well she put on a very good show over the phone, she even cried.

"In my defense," came Raven's voice, it sounded as if it was getting farther away, "by 'accident' I meant a 'mistake', and by a 'mistake'… I meant Charles buying the Erik-Bot."

Erik-Bot? "Why do I feel as if I should be offender?" Cyborg Erik asked dryly.

"Too bad you're not capable of feeling human emotions," Human Erik snapped at his replacement. God he hated that thing! And especially the blond hair!

"No, but I am perfectly capable of understanding them," Robot Erik retorted, "Unlike you," he eyed Real Erik up and down, "… so I've been told."

"_What!_" Erik took offense to this greatly…for some reason…

"Now guys," Charles said, stepping between them (and oh, that would be a yummy sandwich if Charles ever saw one—not that Human Erik would ever go for it) before blood or wires could be shed, "can't we all just calm down a bit?" Seriously, Charles was having naughty thoughts about him, Erik and the Cyborg Erik. Yum.

Turning to face his ex, Human Erik said: "I came here because I thought you were seriously injured and possibly dying, but now I see that was just a ruse, so I'm outta here," coldly before turning to leave.

So much for the freaky threesome.

"Wait," came a voice, but it was neither Charles or Raven's (or any of the other creatures that lived within the mansion of misfit's).

It was the Cyborg's.

Turning, Erik eyed the Man-Bot before him—if he wanted a fight, Erik will give him a fight. He wasn't afraid of a bag of wires.

"Stay," The Cyborg said. He then looked back to Charles. "I think you two need to talk." Charles' face turned to confusion. "What do you mean Erik?"

Real Erik gritted his teeth at Charles calling that thing 'Erik'. That was _his_ name goddamn it. That stupid Robot was not worthy of being called Erik.

Cyborg Erik just smiled. "I may be a Robot that doesn't feel human emotion, but I do understand love when I see it." Both Human Erik and Charles' faces went to shock. The Cyborg went on, "It's clear to me that you two still love each other, but you're both just too blind to see it. Now I don't know why he left," he looked to Erik, "or why you (back to Charles) thought replacing him with a Cyborg that looks like him would be a good idea, but whatever your reasons, I think you two need to put them aside and have a long talk. You two were meant for each other, that much is obvious."

"Thank you!" came a voice from inside. Ah, sounds like Raven didn't get that far after all.

Both the humans looked to the ground for a moment, neither of them wanting to admit that the Robot was probably right. How did a whole year go by with neither of them picking up the phone and calling to apologize? Neither of them even remembered what the damn fight was about in the first place.

Sean swears he does, but he was high as a kite at the time so his whole theory on a missing bag of Cheeto's being the culprit was probably not really the case—that, and ten to one, Sean was probably the real reason behind the Cheeto's disappearance in the first place. Goddamn stoner.

Timidly, Charles was the first one to look up. "Would… would you like to come in Erik? Perhaps talk this out?" After all, the man did fly out here from God-knows-where middle of the country, the least Charles could do was have him in for some tea.

Erik hesitated for a moment. He glanced up and saw the blasted Erik-Bot place a hand on Charles' shoulder and give him a smile. "Yes," Erik said quickly, "I'd love to come in."

Jealous—he was jealous of a Robot—how was this Erik's life?

"Splendid," Charles proclaimed, even though he knew that the following conversation would be anything but.

You see, when Charles and Erik fight, its two fold—one part fighting, and one part fucking. This time around they started off with fighting; Charles yelling at Erik about how he broke his heart when he left that day over a year ago and Erik retorting with "_At least I didn't replace you with a goddamn Robot!_" which led to more angry yelling from Charles, at which during some point turned into them confessing to each other they still loved one and other which of course led to them fucking like two horny teens and then that led into more fighting when Erik found out that Charles had _slept_ with the damn Erik-Bot, "_We'll it's a Sex-Bot Erik! For Christ's sake, what did you think I was using him for, to do my taxes_?" Which trailed into another round of vigorous fucking because Erik was not going to_ be out-fucked by a goddamn Cyborg_! He's Erik fucking Lehnsherr after all—no one out-fucks him—and certainly not some stupid Sex-Bot that was programmed in some lab by a bunch of nerds who have no idea what sex is, thank fuck you very much! Erik worked Charles into a fit with his cock for an hour and then smiled smugly as his ex-lover curled up next to him, sweaty and satisfied, as they both laid there for awhile, catching their breaths and wondering how they both let so much time slip between them.

After awhile Erik told Charles that he never stopped loving him and he thought they were both idiots for not calling each other sooner.

And Charles agreed.

So, a few hours, and a houseful of scarred-for-life teens later (well, except for Sean, who when the two men reemerged, said: "Dude, Erik—when did you get here?) the two men came to an agreement that they'd give their relationship another go as long as Erik promised to never just up and leave Charles like that again without first talking it out like adults, and as long as Charles got rid of that fucking creepy Sex-Bot.

Seriously, that thing had to go—Erik would NOT stay in the same house at it.

Also, Charles was _never_ to mention the fact that he had sex with that thing either, not as long as Erik was around. And it really had nothing to do with the fact that Erik was insanely jealous of it…really…

So David8, no longer 'Erik', thank you very much, was sent back to Weyland Corporations to have his memory erased, i.e., the reset button pushed (it was a wonder that Sean didn't do that himself at some point during David8's short visit, Christ) and hopefully to get a less mentally unstable owner than before. Not that he would remember Charles, or Human Erik, or the houseful of questionable and mystical teenager's.

And yet, it was all probably for the best.

Needless to say, everyone lived happily ever after and no one died, not even Sean with the roof and the flames and the bungee-cord, The End.

**A/N: Sooo, there is no way that I'm going to do another longer fic kind of like this one…*whistles idly while twiddling thumbs*…really, I'm not…**

**Damn it.**


End file.
